I am Brittani, I am 19 years old, 20 in July. My boyfriend is Alex, he is 20, 21 at the end of March. Our son is Jayden, he was born January 31, 2011.
Alex met each other through our moms who met each other through work. Alex's mom and My mom were very good friends and when they hung out and Alex came around I tried my hardest to avoid him. I was a trouble maker at this age (12) thought I was the hottest of the hot and the best of the best. To me Alex was a geek who I wanted NOTHING to do with. He always tried to flirt with me (haha flirting at such a young age) and it always annoyed me, and he was always looking at me. Alex and his mom, moved in with us for a short period of time, at this point I still felt the same way about him, and he still continued to crush over me. =]
I entered high school (Alex was a sophomore) and he was still pretty non existent in my world. (I was wrapped up into my no good trouble maker boyfriend). Summer of my Freshman year, I worked at a ice cream shop my grandparents owned, a lot of hours spent there were super slow and i ended up messaging Alex on my phone from what I told him accidentally, I bet it was on purpose out of boredom (up to this point we did start to talk a little more as friends). That day begun the period of when it all began. VERY slowly though! We started talking here and there a little more and more as time went by. My low life boyfriend moved away and at the beginning of my sophomore year we broke up, still with feelings for him (to this day idk how or why) I didn't really pay attention or think about any other guys. Alex was a football player, and that year I got into football, supporting his number on my home made shirts, talking to him after the games and all, (so you could say that on the down low, I started to slowly like him =]) that school year went by, and the summer began and Alex and I started to hang out here and there, talk a lot more and could definitely tell things were starting to click. The end of July Alex's family always has their family reunion, well my family went to it also, and that summer I decided to go. Alex and I spent the whole time together, while being made fun of and watched like a hawk by my dad (of course). We shared our first kiss at that family reunion. We didn't get together yet, why... well because I was still wrapped up into my stupid ex boyfriend. At this point I had my license and thought we could get back together since we could see each other, not thinking about how we never got along. Well as I continued to lead Alex in and let him down all the time (I was not a nice girl to like) he didn't lose hope of getting me to leave my ex behind and make him my boyfriend. Time went by, school started, Alex and I spent more and more time together at school, I supported him at the games even more and then homecoming comes around, Alex asked me to the dance but I said no we can dance together but I'm going to go with just friends (reason being, Alex was a jock, me and my friends... ehhh not so much, and I always thought my friends would judge me for liking him so I didn't want to let them know yet.) The dance came, we danced a little, and then he decided to take off to go to a friends party, he came and found me before and said goodbye and we kissed once again. That night Alex ended up kissing another girl that night and told me the next day... Yeah I didn't like that one bit! I got SUPER jealous. Well Monday comes around and after school we hung out, that day (October 15th 2007) Alex and I started dating. The following august or September (wish I remembered the exact date) Alex got me a promise ring. I got him one a few months later. I then started talking to my STUPID ex again, hung out with him and my "feelings" came back, Feb of 2009 Alex and I broke up and I got back together with the idiot. Alex stopped talking to me and as hard as i tried he just left that wall up between us for a while. Eventually He started talking to me again, but before this happened, I got pregnant (miscarried in May) the stupid boyfriend became my ex in June. Alex and I were talking more again by this point, but he had decided he wanted to enter the Marines (I begged him not to (I still loved him) but my opinion didn't matter we weren't together... expected) Alex and I became close again, but getting back together was a no because I still wasn't over my stupid ex and I didn't want to hurt Alex again. When Alex leaving for the Marines got brought up I always got brought down, and mixed signals were sent between each other like me saying I would be here for him when he got back but he always said "what if you meet someone else get married and get pregnant", I always said "That wont happen don't worry". Well sure enough the end of fall rolls around and I got back together with the ex AGAIN (man was I stupid) and supported his low life self, come December and I realized I was SICK and TIRED of supporting a male, who was going NO WHERE in life. We constantly fought, I tried to get him to leave and he wouldn't give up until I just stopped talking to him for a night, this night being a night that I hung out with a coworker and some of his friends and his brother. Well I thought his brother was just Mr. Perfect, him and I started dating and then he went back to NC (he is in the Army) Alex heard about all this, and being the good guy that he is listened to everything I had to say whether he wanted to hear it or not. Alex told me his honest opinion about how he didn't think it would work out and how I was moving too fast with this guy I barley knew (every one else felt the same way but me and him (kyle) ). I moved down to NC with kyle and got married to him in April (mind you we met and got together in December everyone was right we took it way too fast. But I thought that's how military relationships had to go. ) Alex and I weren't talking much but when he found this out he wasn't too happy and didn't really have any interest in talking to me. Little did he know, I began to hate this man that I married and realized that I needed who I really loved (alex) to talk to me. I got pregnant in May (I was ecstatic, kyle... well not so much). I had very bad morning sickness which lasted all day and Kyle did nothing but treat me like his slave and once I was sick and wasnt doing much around the house or any cooking it was the end of the world and all hell broke loose, I was MISERABLE, not only was I pregnant, and sick with a husband treating me like shit but I was also 750 miles away from EVERY ONE I had to be with this guy who I thought was Mr. Perfect. Come July (of 2010 if you lost time) Him and I came back to Michigan to spend his independence day leave time with our families. I am VERY close to all of my family, and at this point all I wanted to do was spend every single possible moment with them. Kyle began to make accusations about me spending so much time with my family and we were constantly fighting, I didn't want to be around him for a new him was starting to show, a mean one. I went out to lunch with Alex one day and that day Kyle went insane and accused me of cheating and saying the baby wasn't his. I was with Alex at the time of this phone call and Alex saw how crazy things got and made me stay at his moms house and sleep on the couch because of how Kyle was being. Well, that night everything split out to Alex, I told him how I hated being with kyle because of the way he treated me and how I just didn't know what to do because I was pregnant and couldn't move back home for I had no one to help with the baby and no where to live. Things just got worse and worse with Kyle and I constantly turned to Alex for support, bringing alex and I closer and closer. Kyle went back down to NC and I decided to stay home in Michigan to make a decision on whether I wanted to be with him or not. He left mid July, by the end of July I made up my mind, I was not going back down to NC I was done with him treating me like a POS. Alex and I were spending a lot of time together again and he made me feel great when we were together. By the end of August (2010) Alex and I were dating again. I was scared though because here I am pregnant with someone else's child and Alex not knowing if he is ready for the commitment of being a dad but he knew he loved me and wanted to be with me and so it happened and over time he got more and more comfortable with the situation. about a month later I moved out of my cousins house and in with Alex and his mom while we decided if we wanted to get a place together on our own. We noticed that living together was something we loved and that it was for us and made us stronger, come the end of novemeber we finally moved into our own apartment. Well things continued to go great, I became more and more pregnant and reality continued to come closer, we were about to be a family, Alex was about to take a big roll in a child's life who biologically isn't his, but that did not bother him a bit. Three weeks away from what We all thought was my due date we found out the doctors were a month off and I wasn't due January 6th I was due February 3rd. Alex and I were ready for the baby to be here by this point and now more waiting (and him dealing with all my crazy hormones hahaha poor guy!). Time got closer to my due date, and we started trying everything possible to get the baby here with us :) of course as everyone says he will come when he is ready. SO TRUE! I ended up being induced Monday January 31st at 8:30am, and had our son Jayden at 7:07pm. Alex right there by my side the whole time! He was the best support ever!!! As soon as jayden was born Alex cut the umbilical cord (mind you the whole pregnancy he said he wouldn't up until that day). He knew how much it meant to me for him to cut it. When I got to hold my son for the first time, Alex leaned down, kissed me and said "lets start our family". I then knew, he was completely serious about wanting everything we had and to be "daddy" to Jayden. Alex and I spend every day together enjoying every minute with Jayden.
Kyle (Jayden's what I like to call sperm donor) has asked about Jayden 2 times, and has yet to meet him. I could care less whether Kyle is a part of Jayden's life, I would much rather him just stay away. I grew up without my biological father, but always had a dad and always knew he wasn't my biological father. I would have no problem raising Jayden this way, whether Kyle decides to eventually be a part of Jayden's life I can Guarantee that Jayden (by choice) will still call Alex dad. And that's how it should be because "Any guy can be a father, only the special guys can be a Daddy".
Jayden is our life, we live every day for him, he is what now gets us up and out of bed. Our days are longer and our nights are shorter, but we wouldn't change him for the world! We love life as a small young family! Jayden means everything to us! We enjoy every day watching him learn new things and grow (although we hate how fast its going). Jayden will be 1 month old on Friday March 4th (there is no Feb 31st so we had to count out the days). I can't believe it! Being a mom is the best thing in the world! I am strictly breast feeding Jayden, my job as a nanny allows me to do that along with bring Jayden to work with me which I love because I always wanted to be a SAHM (stay at home mom) once I had kids, and well we all know how the economy is, by no means would we struggle if I didn't work but we like it better to where we don't have to be tight on money and hey I get to bring my son with me so I still get all the time with him in the world. =]
Well this is a book and that's the beginning to our story, caught up to this day. Blogs from now on will be about our day to day life as a new family.
I want to add that I have been following the Blog on the Staat Family and their story, they are who influenced me to start a blog, life is short, sometimes to short, and everything needs to be remembered and shared, this will be one of my ways of remembering and sharing everything!
R.I.P Maddie Staat you are one beautiful angel baby that God has up there with him! Everyone has helped this family out by showing support with Bows. I do not have a baby girl so this was my way of showing support for them.
Here is my BIG event that happened since the last time I blogged. Since Jayden was born I have had the urge to go to church, I used to go regularly, then it went down to here and there and then it stopped completely. I kept telling my cousin (my church buddy as we call each other) that we need to go to church. Well this past Friday I went to a place called FUEL (a place for teens in the area I live in to go hang out and have fun in a safe environment on Friday nights), I used to attend every friday from the time I was in 8th grade (when it opened) until My sophomore year and then it was just on occasion (my lifestyle changed... for the better might I add!), My little sister now goes there and the Lady who runs it is someone very important to me and I wanted her to meet my son Jayden so I went up there so she could. We talked and talked to catch up and church got brought up and I asked her where she went and she said "Freedom Center" (the church I used to attend) and then told me about how I should go, so since invited (not that I need to be invited) I told my cousin we were going. We made it a big thing, breakfast before hand and then 11:30 service. I had an AMAZING time! It felt GREAT!! UNTILLLL service was over and I got pulled aside like a 5 year old and got talked to about Nursing my son during service like I did something wrong. I personally am not in any way uncomfortable nursing my son anywhere. YES I do cover up while preparing and latching him, and well after that NO I don't because Jayden gets too hot and there is just NO need for it in my head. No one can see anything anyways. So needless to say I got looked down upon for nursing my son and told not to do it unless i go in the cry room AT CHURCH... of all places. Im not sure how i feel about going back, I want to but I will not leave worship to go hide while nursing! Maybe Ill wear this hoody?... I have been wanting to buy it. How do you all feel about this? (nursing in public or others doing it).
